25 May, 2012

One Day at a Time

Saturday was the opening at the gallery. I was up early and mostly awake. Tired but tried to eat a decent breakfast of cereal and bananas. Worked all day hanging stuff up. Day of nervous conversations. Was able to escape for a few hours to walk around mid-day. Seemed surreal, lot of anxiety. The opening went well. I talked to people. I think someone else was in my body that night. Went home, very tired, but optimisitc. Soon crashed.

Sunday we were busy at the park. Removing Ivy. Blackberry. I oversaw some college kids in the morning and was a little annoyed because they didn't really want to work and I didn't really want to push them. In the afternoon, I oversaw a church group. One lady talked about how she went over to other countries to save people. Came home, tired, others in house watching TV, went to room, to work on book, tired, took shower and slept.

Monday we had yoga. We ran. We went to the art store and saw all kinds of cool stuff that we could do. It was pretty neat but at the same time, realised I probably wouldn't make good use of it. Bought a $2 sketchbook and some bottles for airbrush. Went to therapist in Capitol Hill. He seems to think I'm an exile. I can relate to him. I'm glad he doesn't push drugs too much, but was surprised it came up. Told him cannabis and haldol are all the same to me or something to the like. Had eventful day. Worked on book a little. Got distracted.

Tuesday had trouble getting up. Worked on illustration project. Finally got out to run. Did nothing useful the rest of the day or the next day except eat too many M&M's and unable to concentrate or work. Depressed. Want to smoke or die. Did neither which is accomplishment but did not sleep well .

Thursday we were up rather early. Got out late. Bought art supplies. Worked on art brush stuff. Looked for work. Long walk from Preston to Isaquah. Worked on illustration project late. Planted potatoes in garden.

Friday. Sunnier. More awake. Rode bike. Still want to smoke or just live in oblivion. Sunny which makes me even more depressed. Realise there is nothing. Went to volunteer at park today. Worked more on book cover/illustration project.

1 comment:

Janeczka said...

The fact that it's sunny makes you feel depressed? How so?