17 January, 2013

Diary of a Schizo: Work

Work sucks for a lot of people. I'm no different. The bus ride that begins the day is also the onset of daily morning sickness. I like to think of it as morning sickness even though I'm probably not pregnant because just writing- I'm so anxious I'm nauseous every morning is kind of depressing. So I try to hide in the back of the bus and not look at anybody.

The kid, I think he must very much want friends. He follows me to work again and we talk about a few things. I'm not much for conversation but try to be polite: I mention the Orioles might make it to the Superbowl and he laughs and says it's the Ravens. I try to pretend I said that on purpose.
At work, I unstaple about 3,000 documents. Maybe more. One of the scanners compliments the orderliness of my work. I say thank you. Not many more words are said today. The worker on the desk next to me, Mary is from China and she talks and laughs at me sometimes. I smile and laugh even though I usually don't know what she is saying. She is a very nice lady. I just wish I understood her more(and I give up asking after not understanding 3 or 4 times).

The workplace to me solidifies the idea of Seattle Freeze to me- polite yet unfriendly. It's also somewhat corporate. I don't think this is necessarily bad- Seattle has a strong independent streak, but for someone who is so introverted it is not the best environment. One of my best friends is loud, hyper and black. I'm the exact opposite, but I think sometimes we need something different to break us out of our ruts. Whatever they are.

 I try to remind myself that it won't be forever and finally getting a comma in my check account balance, I have a bit of comfort that could allow for changes in the future..

No comments: