11 February, 2013

Diary of a Schizo: The Good News and the Bad News

The Good News: I may have a job
The Bad News: It's the same shitty job as before
The Good News: We are not in any terrible war or global catastrophe.
The Bad News: One might be impending.
The Good News: I have an interview for a Permaculture Position at a farm that could be wonderful
The Bad News: I am absolutely terrified of the position and the challenges that I will not be able to live up to
The Good News: I have not appreciably moved backwards(except for my shitty oral hygiene resulting in half of my mouth falling apart) and am not being forced to take drugs or talk to useless therapists.
The Bad News: I am completely worthless at moving ahead.
The Good News: We did not have a house meeting and there are no issues and drama or drugs at the house
The Bad News: It was better when there felt like people were living here despite police trouble
The Good News: I have people who consider me friends
The Bad News: What is wrong with these people?
The Good News: I'm not dead
The Bad News: I'm still alive

2 comments:

Andrea Rouda said...

The fact that you are still alive is good news to me! I consider you a friend, and we have never even met. Yet your soul and spirit and mind speak to me, and say you are above average in intelligence, compassion and sensitivity. That's your problem! (Ignorance is bliss.)

You could try to dumb down, or you could just commit to making tomorrow better in some small way. Clean out a closet, walk an extra mile, get lost in a neighborhood you never visit and be a stranger in your own city.

If I lived in Seattle I would get on a ferry and go to the Bloedel Reserve on Bainbridge Island...have you been there? The moss garden is incredible....

ozjthomas said...

I walk too much as it is but I know what you mean. I'm not very disciplined or motivated to change a lot of times and get discouraged, especially when good opportunities come up.
Have never been to Blodel on Bainbridge but I live towards Issaquah and am more likely to ride up into the mountains and away from Seattle as much as I can. The good thing about Seattle is that there are no really bad neighborhoods, unlike Baltimore and DC where I used to scare my mom to death because I would wander through Canton into the projects to Fells or on the wrong side of the Smithsonian.
Anyway, thanks for the kind words. Sorry I feel so depressed, unworthy of living.