28 February, 2013

I wonder if I will dream tonight.

Is that a freight train plowing through the house? No, that's only my roommate's alarm clocks. Plural. One on his cell phone, vibrating and playing music. One on his mantle(I guess), buzzing erraticly. One somewhere else in his room, sounding like a chicken. They're not all set to the same time exactly, but after the first two have been going off for several minutes, they are all going off at the same time. It's 4:30 and I'm more awake than he. Finally, the alarms subside and I am treated to explosions as his truck starts up, roars and slowly creeps away. I really have no complaints about my roommate other than this sometimes rude awakening, which is simply due to the fact that he has to work at 5:30 in the morning. It is certainly preferable to my previous meth smoking roommate who liked to jump up and down on his bed at 1 in the morning, turn the heat up to 90 and fill the refrigerator with orange soda.

After the initial warm fuzziness of dreamland wears off and I am faced with the torture of another day of menial tasks, random job applications, torturous hot yoga, noisy cars and tedious work, I sit before the computer. Today, I am typing this blog. Other days, I am checking the news and weather while leaving facebook on in the background, wondering if anyone will notice me or if my friends will post anything interesting. Is my sister still alive? Is my brother still the king of hipsters? I procrastinate as long as possible before heading off for the day.

As anyone filling out job applications knows, there is only so many one can do in a day. A few hours and this work is done. The yoga and running fill some of the interim time. Working at a community clubhouse fills more of that time. Doing small contract artwork fills the rest of the time.

I look at my internship applications. The ones for the Permaculture farms and other silly things. I look at my meager existence and hesitate as I wonder if it would be wise to take an unpaid position at such a farm. I'm 33 years old, not particularly strong(I wonder if I could make it as a farmer) although I am terribly bored with the life I have now.

I watch the facebook again in the evening. I eat something healthy for dinner. It's probably something I had cooked 4 days ago and have been eating for 4 days straight. I don't care as I barely taste anything anymore anyway and so I look out the window. Nothing looks back. The house is quiet. I wonder if I will dream tonight.


Andrea Rouda said...

Throw out that food you made four days ago and make something that tastes good! Your next meal could be your last!

Of course you are strong enough to be a farmer. Have you checked out the possibility of apprenticeships on farms?

Supposedly if you eat blue cheese--or better yet, true Roquefort--before going to sleep, you will have wild dreams!
Try it! And keep blogging, I love reading your thoughts!

ozjthomas said...

I work very hard at keeping fit- yoga and walking everywhere but at times struggle with severe weakness, asthma and dizziness my entire life. It has been something I have been battling my entire life and no, I don't know if I can do it. Just being honest.

Your thoughts about cheese remind me of The Rarebit Fiend. I will post a link below. Rarebit is quite a nice sauce made of cheese and beer if you must know. The old comic was of a man who ate this before bed and had surreal dreams at night. A precursor to Little Nemo it was quite good and surreal, with exploding heads, growing beds and other oddities.