20 March, 2013

Stay long stay strong

So here is where things are written. Things of great importance and such. Things that you will read and be enlightened by. Things that... oh nevermind, it's pretty random around here.

There are four weeks until I leave for Asheville. There is still a lot of prepping to do before I go there. A lot of random stuff moving around, changing my mailing address. Catching up and finishing the work I am doing now on the Permaculture Music project. Trying to plan for the future and whatever art projects that lie in store there. I'm hoping to have something to do with art projects in the future. I feel like that could be good.

I don't know though. We will see what the future will bring. I will be moving across country from a place I don't belong to another place I don't belong. I have a feeling I want to travel around and do interviews, make some art and maybe one day settle down and have a dog. Every now and then I think of going back to school and then laugh because it seems so ridiculous.

I wish I were happy like the people in those Drug commercials.

But that's stupid. I'll just keep waking up in the morning. Keep pressing forward through the pain and doing yoga and being stubborn and not taking prescription anti-depressants. If I could take them, maybe I could enjoy a shitty job here and make money and be content.

It seems I will have to make do without the support of psychiatrists and things, travel the road, straight-edged and free and depressed. But at least I will have lived, right?

I hope so.

I hope you can live, too.

It's not always happy or optimistic. It's pretty sad most of the time, actually.

Stay clear of the drugs. Even weed will fuck you up if you stay with it for too long.

1 comment:

Andrea Rouda said...

Your decision to go to Asheville will be life-changing! I have only heard great things about that city. And the fact that you are brave enough to go into the unknown is proof that you are one of life's adventurers, which is why you are so unhappy. Imagine all the people who just plan their lives around their favorite TV shows, stay in the same place they were born, and get excited to eat out at Red Lobster....just like all the "happy people" in the commercials. I doubt you want to squander your life that way.

I am off to Haiti tomorrow, where I am betting the people need more than anti-depressants to fix their lives.

Stay strong!