I really don't like getting a car, but it looks like I will be getting a car. Forget about my egoic desire to be carfree and look at the long term picture and realise that the investment of a $1K Camry might be the way to go. It only has 170K miles, although I'm not 100% convinced it won't need more work to make it road safe.
I'm taking some courses in English and maybe some other things until I can figure out my job situation. This will at least get me out of the house, so it could be a good thing, since I have been avolitional in getting more paid art work projects.
There is still hope that one day I will get out of this shit hole that is Baltimore, that I will find some place that is more livable, but I'm trying real hard to temper that with patience so that I don't decide to just go up and eat mushrooms in the hills. I do miss it, though and know that this Baltimore suburb life really doesn't fit for me.
One of my small joys is doing artwork and cooking and the new show about Small Homes has given me some thought and motivation for things I could do if I could break these chains.
Being off of psych meds is a mixed bag. I'm definitely more cognizant of what is going on around me and able to work on artwork and do things a little bit easier. I have some extreme anxiety and paranoia, though, coming off the antipsychotics, although the trade off of increased mood and thought almost make up for it. Some days.
On other days, I wish I could sleep for 24 hours.